6 Harsh Truths About Curly Hair | Easy Refresh Routine + GRWM

Sometimes, we just need some tough love with our curls. If you’re feeling frustrated with your hair, at a loss, or wanting to give up on your curly hair journey, these are things you might need to read.

I’m going to walk you through my day 2 refresh routine as I get ready and share harsh truths about curly hair.

#1: You’ll never be able to get rid of the frizz, and it doesn’t look as bad as you think

They say we’re our own worst critics, and this is especially true when it comes to our hair. Frizz is normal and it’s inevitable. We zero in on the frizz when we look at our hair, most of the time due to different lighting, but it’s likely that most people don’t notice it. It’s also normal for our hair to look “worse” as the days go on after wash day. Ideally you’re not soaking your hair and restyling it daily. Once you practice wearing your hair “as is” or doing just light refreshing, you’ll get used to the imperfect look in between wash days. For more help with refreshing, read this.

#2: Curly hair takes effort, time, maintenance and care if you want it to thrive

This is a tough pill to swallow if you previously straightened your hair and rarely wore it curly. While I’m a huge fan of simplifying your routine wherever possible, curly hair does take effort. Unless you’re blessed with perfect air-dried, product-free hair, then you’re going to need a routine and products to make it look good. Products are also necessary for fixing problems like dryness, frizz, damage, etc.

Once your hair gets healthier, it’s going to be easier to manage and last longer. Once you learn how to properly care for your curls, it also gets easier.

With curly hair, you should also not be washing it daily so you will only need to invest time into your hair on wash days, such as 2-3 times per week. If you’re using the right products and technique, minimal refreshing/touchups will be needed in between washes.

If you want it all figured out for you, book a session with me and I’ll build a routine for you and simplify it as much as possible to fit your schedule and time constraints.

#3: Most people’s hair thins out and changes with age

The changes in my hair as I’ve gotten older have been tough to accept. When I was in my teens and lower twenties, my hair was twice as thick and I was able to grow it longer. However, it changed over time in both it’s density and curliness. There’s a dozen reasons why this happens, and it’s often internal factors that I explain in this post about Why Curl Patterns Change.

We have to learn how to care for and embrace the hair we currently have, not hold onto how our hair looked in the past. I now maintain a shorter, blunt, haircut without layering to maintain fullness.

Curly hair routines should evolve over time.

#4: Products are not always the answer, it’s often styling technique

I could use the exact same product but apply it differently and get totally different results. Product application and styling technique can make or break your routine. This is why you need to test a new styling product multiple times in multiple different ways before you rule it out.

This is why in my curl coaching sessions, I walk through every step with you so we can pin point where you’re possibly going wrong. I try and work with the products you already own by helping you tweak how to use them so you don’t have to buy new ones.

In this wash day routine (pictured above on the left), I used the Bounce Curl EdgeLift Volume Brush and the same Ouidad products as before (pictured above on the right). My results look very different due to the brush. They are more clumped and defined with the brush, and more separated and full without the brush.

Tracking your routines is another great way to pin point what works and what doesn’t. Check out my Curly Hair Tracker & Planner for a guided way to track and analyze.

#5: Most of us can’t have it all – volume + definition + fullness, etc.

If you could prioritize on result for your curls, which would it be? Achieving both volume and definition is challenging unless you have naturally thick hair. Achieving both frizz control and soft/fluffy curls is next to impossible. There is always a trade off.

There are some things that you can do to customize your look and find an balance.

For example, my goals are long-lasting frizz control and fullness. If I had to prioritize one, it would be long-lasting frizz control so that I don’t have to refresh much. How do I achieve some of both?

• I use a strong hold, long-lasting gel
• I damp style for more fullness
• I brush style for longer lasting definition but am careful not to over-clump the curls for more fullness
• I use a brush to smooth frizz and create root volume
• I diffuse for volume

See what I mean? Tracking these small tweaks in my routine has helped me fine-tine it. This is a more advanced step though once you nail your basic routine.

#6: Your curl problems are not from a single ingredient

When you first dive into curly hair content on the internet, you’ll quickly become bombarded with fear-mongering about ingredients like sulfate, silicone, glycerin, aloe, coconut, etc. I’ve been guilty of this when I first started posting about curly haircare and before I understood more about the science behind how ingredients in products work.

Singling out specific ingredients is incredibly limiting and only further complicates curly haircare. We have to consider the entire formulation of a product and not rule out a product because of one ingredient. We need to trust the hopefully well-trained chemists that formulate products.

A good example of this is glycerin, which is in the Ouidad gel that is literally designed for humidity. It contains glycerin AND multiple humidity-blocking ingredients like polyquaternium. Glycerin is not why a certain gel is making your hair frizzy. It’s most often a lack of hold in the formulation, application error, or it’s simply not the right gel for you and that is what is causing your frizz.

Another misconception is around aloe. Aloe is not causing your dryness, it’s just a lack of conditioning ingredients AND aloe in the product that is flash drying your hair.

I could go on and on, and perhaps this is an entire future video, but I’ll stop there 😉

Get Ready with Me Details

In the video, I share my everyday skincare, quick makeup, and an easy refresh routine.

Skincare & Makeup Used

• CeraVe Cream to Foam Cleanser
• DIME Hyperglow Serum, 20% off with code GenaM
• DIME Tinted Wonderscreen Shade 02, 20% off with code GenaM
• Tarte Shape Tape™ Cloud CC Cream Broad Spectrum SPF 15
• Tarte shape tape™ concealer, 16n
• Tarte Creaseless Setting & Brightening Powder, yellow
• Tarte ‘smooth operator ™ Amazonian clay tinted pressed finishing powder, light
• Tarte Ocean Girl Cream Blush – discontinued.  Similar one here.
• Merit Volumizing Brow Pomade, light brown
• Smashbox Cover Shot Eye Shadow Palette, Minimalist
• Tarte Quick Stick Waterproof Shadow & Liner, Brown Liner
• Maybelline Lash Sensational Mascara
• Tarte maracuja juicy lip crème, Iris

Hair Products Used

Outfit Details

• Earrings
• Pink Lily pullover, 20% off with code OCTOBER20

Still feeling stuck?

Book a curl coaching session so I can take deep dive into your routine, analyze your specific issues, and help you find solutions and products that fit your needs.

I’m now offering weekend sessions! Just email me ([email protected]) if you can’t find a time and I will open a spot for you.